His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
