They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
