Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
