Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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