Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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