Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I have aggressive nipples.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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