whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize