do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
