tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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