I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
