don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
