She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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