what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
