If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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