Who wears a wallet chain?!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i think i have herpe
just one?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
