I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
