you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
