I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
