remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
