Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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