Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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