thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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