This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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