I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
