Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
