brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
