found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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