I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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