Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
