just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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