he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
