I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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