I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize