Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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