I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
