I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
