her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i love accidental penises.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
