I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
