420 ftw
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
