the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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