whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
