Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
