my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
