he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
