Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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