I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
