you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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