the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
