Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
