Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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