No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
