We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Randomize
