I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
