youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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