So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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