So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
