i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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