I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
