Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
