his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
