btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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