I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize